I just finished reading “The Time Traveler’s Wife” and I am a little depressed. This is probably one of the best books I’ve read and it has such a sad ending. People call it a love story, and it is, but it is also a tragedy. So many little lessons packed in tiny lines. The weird thing is, even though this book is a fiction, it reminded me a lot about my life.
Clare, one of the main characters of the book, spends her time waiting, waiting and waiting for her true love, Henry, who is also the time traveler. Her whole life, since the age of six, is essentially spent waiting. And i realize I can’t really say too much because I will either spoil the book for you or you will not understand what I am trying to say since you have not ready it yet.
Anyways, I feel like I’ve been waiting for a long time. For someone. And I find myself doing that now. And it’s hard to stop because I keep telling myself that it is worth it to wait but how much of my life am I missing out on? But then I go out there and I try to go on as if i am not waiting and I find myself realizing that what I’m waiting for is better than the now. I’m sounding a little crazy but it hard to make sense of my thoughts and sharing them with you when I’m still trying to figure them out.
Anyways, Clare waited her whole life and then… I don’t want to be like Clare. But she had no choice really and I don’t think I do either. Well, maybe I do because me choosing to not stop waiting is a choice itself, but maybe i don’t want to stop waiting?
But I wait and it will be worth it or I tell myself. But then I go to sleep and I dream about what I’m waiting for and it looks so wonderful and so right that I wake up and hope that it will happen like that and then I go back to waiting until it happens… So I wait. As I write this post, I am waiting. And my wait is getting shorter, but not easier.
In other news, Michael Jackson’s memorial was today. I only caught the last few minutes but what I saw was a heartfelt service. I never realized how much he meant to this world. And that sunk me into an even bigger depression. His daughter, Paris, said a few words on his behalf and that bought me to tears. No surprise. The older I get, the more emotional I get. I hope he finally gets the peace in Heaven he could not get on earth. I hope that is what is waiting for us all at the end of our days.
I’ve kinda lost my train of thought. I’ll go look for it now. There will be a movie out august 14, 2009. Below is a link to the trailer. Check it out. It’s worth it. I think.
Ciao.
