I have this hidden dream of capturing moments as they happen. I want to show you people the things through my eyes, as literally as possible. After spending some time some of the most talented photojournalists, I want to try my turn at it. Just as a hobby but I will not shy away from anything more.

Anyway, I’m hoping to get that on my birthday or earlier. We shall see.

I just finished reading “The Time Traveler’s Wife” and I am a little depressed. This is probably one of the best books I’ve read and it has such a sad ending. People call it a love story, and it is, but it is also a tragedy. So many little lessons packed in tiny lines. The weird thing is, even though this book is a fiction, it reminded me a lot about my life.

Clare, one of the main characters of the book, spends her time waiting, waiting and waiting for her true love, Henry, who is also the time traveler. Her whole life, since the age of six, is essentially spent waiting. And i realize I can’t really say too much because I will either spoil the book for you or you will not understand what I am trying to say since you have not ready it yet.

Anyways, I feel like I’ve been waiting for a long time. For someone. And I find myself doing that now. And it’s hard to stop because I keep telling myself that it is worth it to wait but how much of my life am I missing out on? But then I go out there and I try to go on as if i am not waiting and I find myself realizing that what I’m waiting for is better than the now. I’m sounding a little crazy but it hard to make sense of my thoughts and sharing them with you when I’m still trying to figure them out.

Anyways, Clare waited her whole life and then… I don’t want to be like Clare. But she had no choice really and I don’t think I do either. Well, maybe I do because me choosing to not stop waiting is a choice itself, but maybe i don’t want to stop waiting?

But I wait and it will be worth it or I tell myself. But then I go to sleep and I dream about what I’m waiting for and it looks so wonderful and so right that I wake up and hope that it will happen like that and then I go back to waiting until it happens… So I wait. As I write this post, I am waiting. And my wait is getting shorter, but not easier.

In other news, Michael Jackson’s memorial was today. I only caught the last few minutes but what I saw was a heartfelt service. I never realized how much he meant to this world. And that sunk me into an even bigger depression. His daughter, Paris, said a few words on his behalf and that bought me to tears. No surprise. The older I get, the more emotional I get. I hope he finally gets the peace in Heaven he could not get on earth. I hope that is what is waiting for us all at the end of our days.

I’ve kinda lost my train of thought. I’ll go look for it now. There will be a movie out august 14, 2009. Below is a link to the trailer. Check it out. It’s worth it. I think.
Ciao.

The Time Traveler\'s Wife Trailer-Out August 14, 2009

Ever wonder whose eyes those are at the top on the header? They are mine. Hence the title, life through these eyes. Night reader

Happy belated 4th of July to the U.S.A! Happy Belated 1st of July to RWANDA!

My Saturday was great. Saw Celine after two weeks. She looked…smarter lol. But had a good time with her. I realize she is less my little sister and more of a grown-up everyday! Where does the time go! We barbecued even under the terrible weather and made the most of it.

After a long conversation the night before with a certain someone, I was dog tired the next day and kept stealing naps every chance I got! lol, overall good day.

I visited my friend’s new place with his fiancee. Lovely place, wooden floors everywhere and it’s an old Victorian building in the best area of Bardstown road. I can’t wait until I’m at the point. Nice lovely apt, in a nice, chick area with the love of my life. Looking forward to that.

The day ended with a good time with my coworkers in Ft. Knox. Had a tipsy dance party with them and i loved it! It’s moments like like this that really make you love life. It was completely unexpected and i loved it.

Hope I get more days like that.

To top it all of. I had a long hard look at my life lately and reflected on some things that have happened lately and Ive realized one thing above all. LIFE GOES ON and I am not getting left behind. Already “scheming on my future” as someone would put it and I’m truly excited for what it holds.
Finally.
I’ve been waiting on this for a long time.

Ps: planning a special trip to a special location. It’s set for January. One hint: I will need a visa.
pics will post when I go, until then pray that I can do it!

So I realize my last post was a bit depressing and that is something I want to get out of. I will make sure to write about more positive things from now. Today is a new day and there is no reason why I shouldn’t feel like a new person. So I am going back to the basics. Starting at square 1. Starting over or getting back to the things that make me happy and give me that Joie de Vivre.
And I have to say that I am also working on letting go of some demons that have been eating away at me for a while. Letting go and moving on and starting over is not so bad.
In other news, Happy Independence Day to the people of Rwanda.

I have a short post today, not much to talk about really but just letting you know the pity party is over and you can all go home now. Nothing to see.

Ciao.

Today was…
not such a good day.
I realize that I am bored with my life.
I am simply bored and I’m tired of it.
I don’t know where it went but I’ve lost that “je ne sais quoi”
No excitement.
Nothing to look forward to.
And i didn’t see this coming.
But I guess that’s life for you.
A weird, huge rollercoaster.
That’s really all I have to say.
I need a change and soon it will come… hopefully.

I rarely edit my writing. Not sure why. Something about reading your own thoughts= not appealing sometimes. So don’t judge the grammar. I can keep up with the best of them in English class, but I am not being graded on this. So enjoy. This is blog is about my life and who has a spell check in life?

If you do, I need one. lol

My latest story.

This kid makes me feel like an under-achiever.

Click the link below.
17-year-old Cadet pursues LTC to become pilot

Let me tell you about today.

I first woke up at 7am. Hated it because then my body did not want to go back to sleep. Chatted with my roommate for a big and then slowly fell back into neverland. There was that one thing on my mind. All the more reason for me to go back to unconsciousness.

So snoozed my way to 10am. Got to the barracks to finish my Cadet interview at 1045ish. Didn’t get to talk to him for 30 min.

We talked. I got some more material for my story. Felt stupid when I left because I forgot the most important question. But it’s ok. I’m a writer, I’ll still have a good story from the 2 days that I’ve known him and the 10 minute conversations.

So I convinced my boss to let me use a story I had written a couple week ago but never ran. He agreed. This means, free weekend because I have one less story to worry about. Amazing.

I get to spend 3 days at home. I need this time to clear my head.

So packed my bags. Went home. Went to give a speech to a humanities class at UofL with my dad. The class seemed to like it.

Got some senegalese food. Stuffed.

Then my baby sister and I, who by the way is not a baby anymore, decided to go see My Sister’s Keeper. Ive read the book, I knew what I was getting myself into but I figured it was worth it.

So we bought the tickets at 2030.

the movie was not showing until 2135.

We went to borders because I was dying to get The Time Traverler’s wife by Audrey Niffenegger.

The book is 14.95.

I am a victim of the recession. lol

So I debated for a half hour. Should I get this book that or should I save for gas, food?

I decided that right now, with that one thing constantly on my mind and slowly killing me, that I need an escape. So i took a chance and decided that in life, you sometimes have to do what makes you happy, if not simply for the sake of giving your soul a chance to smile.

And If it only means temporary relief from my own thoughts, then it is worth 14.95.

So I walk to the counter, ready to hand over my card. I then ask the clerk to check to see if I have any discounts.

He asks for my card. I don’t have one.
He asks for my phone number and I gladly give it to him.

He tells me I am a Border Plus member and that 5 dollars! whoo hoo! then he tells me I am eligible for another discount, but forget what.

Then he tells me the total is 5.95! I am elated.

I pay. I take my sissies hand. We leave. And I get to take my book.

I go back to the theater for the movie. I cry from beginning to end. It was worth it. Go see it, learn something about human nature.

And I talked to my other sissy who is way for half of the summer.

And now I am home, with my family, and my book and my thoughts (but not for long) and I am happy.

So yea, that was my day and you may not understand why I had to tell you this but in my book, it was a good day.

I try to find the simple joys in life I guess. and I’ve read some of the book so far… I thought I had it bad. This girl has it worse in terms of……. (story for another day)

Why was going to see a movie and getting a book a good day?

Because ever since I can remember, going to the movies or reading has been the best escape ever. I have not been to certain countries or done certain things but for 200 pages or 2 and a half hours, I get to be someone else.

Who doesn’t like taking a break from their own life sometimes?

Ciao.

A weird day. Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett both lost their lives. Somewhere in the world, hundreds of other people passed away today too. No one ever gets the flowers while they can still smell them.

“Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.”

There are only so many tomorrows but I am still hoping those tomorrows are better days. Let’s all learn to appreciate the people in our lives before it is too late because a day like this reminds us that every second is one second too late.